Day 3

Hmmm. I've been feeling pretty cranky today, and this is a lot harder when I'm in a bad mood. I find that I don't even want to think about things I'm thankful for. I'm continuing to read 1000 Gifts. I'm impressed by the author's candor and her window into her journey in learning about gratitude. So, what I'm learning today is that my own state of being (state of my soul) dictates my ability to be thankful. But I'll try, for the sake of plugging along.

7.

Wow, I'm just filled with nothing. Obviously there's a million things to be thankful for and I'm just irritated by lots of little things. I can think of things that I'm thankful for -- I'm thankful for my house, my clothes, my family, blah blah blah. But they're just the things I always say. Not things I'm really feeling. And I want this experience to be real, to really learn about gratitude. So how to I get to FEEL thankful on a day that I just feel blah blah blah?

So what I'll just try is listing things. . . maybe the act of listing my blessings will actually make me feel blessed. Here goes:

7. Modern dentistry: I had to get 2 fillings today. Man am I glad for anesthesia, and the fact that I don't just have to walk around with a couple of rotten teeth.

8. Mrs. Barbara. She's Caleb's preschool teacher. She is always so happy and so nice, and I always feel better just for having been around her.

9. Family dinner time. I love our routine of sitting down together every night and just being together. No TV, no music, no phones. Just us. This is what I think of when I think of family. And then at dinner, Caleb spontaneously says, "Who has done some good in the world?" and everyone did a little something. I love those guys.

10. A note from Stephen. I was grumpy with Stephen this morning and I came out of the dentist and saw a note from him on the seat in my car. I love handwritten notes.

11. Nick-nee. That boy is growing up, and I love to see the cool teenager he is becoming. I left him in charge for a little while I took Dani to practice driving (!!). He is a man-in-the-making. He's getting things figured out.

and one more to end the night:

12. Flip-flops. The other day I wore tennis shoes to do some yard work and my friend Beth told me later: "I was trying to figure out what was different about you and I realized it's your shoes." Pretty much no one ever sees me without seeing my feet. I LOVE flip flops. I love that I can slip them off as soon as I walk in the door and then just absorb the cool-ness from the tile. I love the idea that I live in a place that closed-toed shoes are very rarely a necessity (darn you, yard work!). I love looking down and seeing brightly colored nail polish. I pretty much am in love with flip flops!

And that was good for my soul. I needed to step away from my regular for long enough to just revel in gratitude. Lesson learned (for today). Just starting the list brings the real feeling.